I need an ESA. I'm an adult. I'm of sound mind. I know what I need but because I am no longer a homeowner I have to play the game and go to counseling and possibly get on antidepressants to get an ESA. Well it actually it isn't a game. I am depressed and stressed, etc.... I may decide to move at the drop of a hat to go where I can have a dog. Its what I feel that I need. A small dog. I'm not smart enough to know this for myself though. I have to go to counseling to have someone say, "Yeah you need an ESA for your depression, anxiety, loneliness, etc.... Aaaaargh! Even then I will need a letter from the counselor stating that and then get an accommodation letter from my landlord saying that he agrees with my getting a dog. If not then I need to take legal action. For the laws state that he can not deny me an ESA if I have a letter stating that I need one.

My Past Emotional Support Animals

I blame my Mother and father. Dad had a pet skunk even once and the crows that he fed hamburger to on a stick. I had nightmares at 2 years old saying, "Birdies bite! Birdies bite! so I am told. Mom got ducks for us one Easter then later gave them to our Aunt. Our dog Tiny I remember first. They got her the year that I was born. I remember too Snowball, the little kitten that died of distemper and Dad buried her under the apple tree. How sad. :-(

Now in the past going on 2 years I've lost 3 very precious pets. Two years ago July 5th, 2016 my male cat, Baby Widget (6 years). My last chemo treatment was July 15th, 2016. May 26th, 2017 my precious parakeet Jazz (11 years) and going on 3 weeks ago tomorrow my precious Annie of 10 years - March 2nd, 2018. Im having a difficult time with my grief. They've been with me for so long. Been there for me through happy and sad times. I do have Lucy that I got a year ago May 10th. She's a bit of comfort but wants so badly to play and most days I'm good with that. I've taught her to chase mini marshmallows. She's quite a little shit at times. She wants to bite and play rough with me. She doesn't leave marks but I ask her, "Why do you bite your Mother?" Oh she has her moments of wanting to be held and cuddled. Most special place she has chose for that is when I'm on the toilet. What's with that? If I leave the door open she then comes at a run and leaps onto my lap to be held and cuddled. Goofy cat. She's all that I have for now.

I miss owning my own home when I could choose or had rights to have any pets that I wanted. So many times my ex would come home from work to find yet another addition to our menagerie. No I wasn't a hoarder of animals but did at one time have 4 cats, 3 dogs, 7 rabbits, a guinea pig, a turtle and a few aquariums.

Now I feel the need for a little dog. I think Lucy would do better with a dog and being an only cat. My heart breaks for all of my beloved animals that I've had. They gave me such emotional support and now it seems that it will be like pulling teeth to get a medical professional to sign an emotional support animal letter that I need to get a small dog here in my apartment. Oh it sucks not being a home owner. Having no rights. Like a child having to go to someone for permission to get a small dog. The doctor doesn't feel comfortable writing a letter for me but will gladly put me on antidepressants. Aaaaargh! I don't think so. I don't feel comfortable taking antidepressants.

So here now I feel trapped in this small town of 400, alone. I want out. I wanted to go to that better place that my Annie went to March 2nd, 2018. I've wanted to go there since my father died in 2009. Why do my loved ones before me get to go to that better place? I have to stay here to endure the sadness that this world brings me as I miss my loved ones that have died and my animals now too. Oh I'm so sad at times. You've read all of this? Wow! You cared enough to read it all. Thank you, Kim.